It Never Hurts To Not Graduate From Penn

by Chris Beam | October 26, 2006 at 11:03 am

It Never Hurts To Not Graduate From PennThe moment a political race turns ad hominem, that’s when we tune in. Our ears perked up when we heard one candidate in a New York State Assembly race has accused the other of — cover your ears, children — not graduating from Penn.

Well, it’s slightly more complicated. Greg Ball, a Republican running in the 99th district, accused his opponent Ken Harper of falsely claiming he received a B.A. in English from the University of Pennsylvania, the Journal News reports. Sounds more like Harper fudged it by designating himself “English, 1978-82, University of Pennsylvania,” which some political groups misinterpreted and replaced with “B.A.”

So Harper attended Penn for four years and didn’t graduate. Judging from our experience, that’s actually a huge accomplishment. Once you’ve been admitted to an Ivy, it takes nothing short of murder to get kicked out — and sometimes even that might not do it. Our advice to Ken: Accuse Ball of graduating!

Comments 3 Comments | Digg! Digg This | Facebook Share on Facebook | Print This Post Print This Post | Email This Post Email This Post
Tags Read more: ,

3 Responses to “It Never Hurts To Not Graduate From Penn”

  1. Comments Nate Says:
    October 26th, 2006 at 12:25 pm

    Four credits shy of a degree? That’s weak. He could have made that up at some point before now. But then, an English degree is only marginally more useful than a Philosophy degree.

  2. Comments Nobody Says:
    October 26th, 2006 at 1:04 pm

    Uhm hello…Cornell? Still Ivy League and notorious for failing people out. Unlike Harvard hardly anyone graduates cum lade, the average gpa is 2.6, and we don’t award honorary degrees. Too many kids have killed themselves (literally) to earn a Cornell degree. Also a few years back there was a cornell student who lied on his application and didn’t get caught until he was applying to grad school. if memory serves he was expelled right before graduation and turned over to the cops (sending fake info through the mail is a felony). We also have the snarkiest graduates Bill Maher, Janet Reno, and Bill Nye the Science guy.

  3. Comments Chris, PHS '99, Cornell '03 Says:
    October 26th, 2006 at 1:30 pm

    As a fellow Pleasantville High School alumnus, I just wanted to congratulate Ken Harper for making PHS more of a joke than fellow alumnus Dave Barry ever could. Go panthers!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.