In the student government universe — a realm that is equal parts absurd, amusing, and unflinchingly self-serious — Yale College Council has always served as the Platonic ideal. This year’s race has already perfected the form.

Sam Heller, Yale ‘08 and former editor of campus tabloid Rumpus, submitted the following candidacy statement for Pierson residential college council: 

“What is the YCC?  I don’t really know, but I plan on finding out – pronto.  It’ll be an exciting adventure for all of us, and we’ll really grow as people.

“With this statement of hope and fabulous dreams, I hereby announce my candidacy for Pierson YCC representative.  I hope all of you will get up out of your chairs and put your hands together, ’cause when I say “Sam”, you say “Heller”!  

“Sam!

“Heller!

“Sam!

“Heller!

“With your help, I can make this the rock ‘n rollinest year evar! Hooray!”

Council rep Steve Engler, ‘07, doing a spot-on angry dean impression, responded:

“Sam- You know I can’t accept that. Write a legitimate statement and then I can enter you.”

The rest of the conversation, in which Heller cc’ed the Rumpus discussion list, is inappropriate for a family blog. So we included it after the jump. Short story: Heller is back on the ballot. Score one for Dadaist, faux-anti-establishment student council campaigns.

*UPDATE 10:22 p.m.: See Heller’s campaign poster here.

From: xxxx@yale.edu <xxxx@yale.edu >
Date: Sep 11, 2006 12:03 AM
Subject: Re: Fwd: RE: Candidacy Statement
To: xxxx@yale.edu
Cc: rumpusdiscusslist@panlists.yale.edu

I’d rather be lied to than have Zack Marks try to skullfuck me with his
charisma.   Thank God he got an uncontested race for secretary last year.

XXXX

Quoting xxxx@yale.edu:

> Running as the “I don’t take anything seriously, fuck the man” candidate
> isn’t cool if you’re actually doing it to pad your resume….
>
> XXXX
>
> Quoting Sam Heller <samuel.heller@yale.edu>:
>
>> Okay, got the decision reversed.  All the Pierson staffers, a vote
>> for me is a
>> vote for rock and rooooll.
>>
>> Sam
>>
>>
>> Quoting Sam Heller <samuel.heller@yale.edu>:
>>
>>> Apparently, my candidacy statement was unacceptable.  I would
>>> counter that Steve
>>> Engler is unacceptable.
>>>
>>> Sam
>>>
>>> —– Forwarded message from steven.engler@yale.edu —–
>>>    Date: Sun, 10 Sep 2006 17:29:31 -0400
>>>    From: Steven Engler < steven.engler@yale.edu>
>>> Reply-To: Steven Engler <steven.engler@yale.edu>
>>> Subject: RE: Candidacy Statement
>>>      To: ‘Sam Heller’ < samuel.heller@yale.edu>
>>>
>>> Sam- You know I can’t accept that.  Write a legitimate statement and then I
>>> can enter you.
>>>
>>> Steve
>>> —–Original Message—–
>>> From: mailer@yalestation.org [mailto:mailer@yalestation.org ] On Behalf Of
>>> Sam Heller
>>> Sent: Sunday, September 10, 2006 1:20 PM
>>> To: ycc@yalestation.org
>>> Subject: Candidacy Statement
>>>
>>> Attached is my candidacy statement for Pierson YCC representative.
>>>
>>> xoxo,
>>> Sam