Trying Really Hard to Hate Andrew Bujalski
It's hard to hate on Andrew Bujalski, Harvard '98. Maybe that's why film critics, seduced by his effortlessly fawkward dialogue and pasty-face characters, seem to forget all English words except "generation," "poet," "authentic," "Cassavetes" and "zeitgeist," which isn't even English. The guy's new movie, "Mutual Appreciation," got a 100 percent rating on Rotten Tomatoes. (Meanwhile the brilliant "The Skulls" got a seven. Sometimes we want to climb up a clocktower.) Come on, people! Where's the dissent? Will no one step up and hate Andrew Bujalski?
Fine, if you insist.
How to Make an Andrew Bujalski Film: First, choose the six most annoying people you know. One of them should be marginally attractive, if only when backlit. Next, think of the ten most insignificant conflicts imaginable (like a Froot Loop fell on the floor, or you forgot to pick the lint out of the dryer filter). Now outline a series of conversations dealing with those conflicts and shuffle the pages into a random order. Inject your actors with Quaaludes before shooting. Onset, avoid tripods and well-lit areas. If an actor accidentally finishes a sentence or makes a coherent point, yell "cut!" and start over. Repeat until famous.
Disclaimer: We actually admire Bujalski's work. Grudgingly. True story, though: two film buff friends of ours, in a fit of rage after watching his film "Funny Ha Ha," microwaved the videocassette.
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