No Mark Zuckerberg, We’re Breaking Up With You!
Dear Mark,
Wow. We believed all those groups that claimed "Facebook Is Watching You," but this is just ... wow.
Two weeks ago, we started a Facebook profile for IvyGate. Sure, we tiptoed around some of the FB bylaws (our last name isn't actually "Blog"; we're not the spitting image of Kaavya Viswanathan), but for the most part, we were legit. We quietly amassed a pile of friends, we started a group; it was a good life. Then we tried to log on, and found this:
We've tasted the bitter fruit of rejection before. But from you? Is this really the time to be driving people away from Facebook?
See, the problem, Mark, is that you know the power of exclusivity. It's what made you. Without Harvard, you'd be Friendster. But you played it right. You slowly eased the reins, letting in first the other Ivies, then the New England colleges, then the rest, until every student in America recognized your eerie, silkscreened mug peering out from atop their browsers. Now that you've invited everyone into the hot tub, forgive us for saying your inclusivity feels a little ... calculated.
So no, we're not breaking up. We won't let you. We'll be back. And by God, you're the first person we're friending.
Te amo,
IvyGate
P.S. The Wall Street Journal stippleportraitist thinks you're getting fat.
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September 22nd, 2006 at 9:45 pm
We had the CEO / founder of CommonSenseMedia(.org) here at school today; he also gave another talk this evening. He kept mentioning the fact that zuckerberg had been an exonian as well as a harvard dropout (emphasis on dropout, I said). Exeter matriculates all sorts I guess. blech.
September 23rd, 2006 at 2:50 pm
welcome to the club
http://prez.wordpress.com/2006/07/17/facebook-cleanup-efforts/
September 24th, 2006 at 12:44 pm
Wow, your password is hella long.
February 16th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
it’s not mark’s mug on the facebook banner.
April 17th, 2008 at 7:08 am
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