Last week we brought you the glory that is BK2Night, the planet’s best rap about sustainably produced organic greens. Now a Yale tipster writes in with the complete lyrics, annotated so that non-Elis can join in the fun. After the jump, follow the bouncing blue ball …
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(Refrain)
Now this is one of them occasions where the dining hall’s not doing it right
I mean you found you a food that you like
But you can’t get into Berkeley tonight
And when it all boils down you gonnna find in the end
Your meal’s on a plan but Annette¹ ain’t paid to be your friend
So what you found a hall that you like? Fool, you can’t get into Berkeley tonight

I mostly ate late from a thin paper plate
Making mac & cheese
Please, this shit ain’t got no taste (Where the fuck is Pan Geos?²)
I cannot eat at Commons³
I need to eat well, not come on home to pots that’s full of ramen
I wanna be bombin, and taking advantage
In Berkeley dining hall with my full meal plannage⁴
But I’ll manage (Get your salad out my face!)
Bitch, I’m ’bout to switch, go get grits from Jaylyn’s Place⁵
Learn the playa rules, this is how a playa moves
Ain’t PC but Yorkside⁶ it got me hungry
Food dollas I blowed ‘em, I can’t control ‘em
Swiped drinks twice at the law school, went and sold ‘em
Annette’s sweatin me, won’t let me eat a BK dinner
Organic greens and free range to get the girls thinner
It’s a trip don’t trip ‘em up in Yorkside Flex-in’
Fuck BK for hating like a presidential Texan

(Refrain)

Now to the law school, Commons or the Saybrugians (yeah bitches)
Much love to y’all cause when you see PC
You know you have to let us in⁷
As for BK what should we do
Even twentieth in line I won’t abandon my crew
So we tried Berkeley stickers and tried sweatshirts
We pulled pimp canes and we tried to flirt⁸
We brainstormed entries, even supplementaries
But surface door sentries wouldn’t let us in the pantries
The food is organic, security is manic
Some students get in, the rest is straight banished

I’ll take Annette back to Swing Space,⁹ she can chill at the spot
From the way she be chillin I know she does it a lot
I roll a 8 and a half, a 9 and three-quarters
The blunt’ll be fillin when I call her on the illin
We share picket lines during hard strike times¹⁰
Now she’s a sign of the BK crimes
I want a pass for PC and everybody
And while you’re all at it, whyn’t you make that shit free?¹¹
Yeah the food is aight but it ain’t so tight
That it break a G down, break me down
So I’ma see you on the rebound, PC style, mothafucka
Biatch!

(refrain)

Shoutout to Peggy holding it down in Commons
Willy … Merle, where you at?¹²
Yeah all the Pierson dining hall staff we miss you,
Much love to all the family…

¹ the formidable card-swiper/gatekeeper at Berkeley Dining Hall
² moderately popular “ethnic food” station operated by Yale Dining Services in several dining halls
³ The large, impersonal dining hall most often frequented by athletes after practice. Cheeseburgers and fries are their specialty and even then we’re talking dry and drier.
⁴ full meal plan: $2,280 per semester
⁵ delicious soul food on Park Street
⁶ Yorkside Pizza is one of the few establishments off campus that accepts Yale flex points
⁷ Pierson College was being renovated in 2003-2004, so PC students were always allowed into the Saybrook dining hall, despite whatever restrictions were in place
⁸ doesn’t work, I’ve tried
⁹ the holding pen for members of residential colleges that are being renovated
¹⁰ Yale and its employees have a penchant for shitty labor relations and disruptive work stoppages
¹¹ Did I mention a full meal plan is $2,280 per semester?
¹² Pierson dining hall staff, much beloved