Can Someone Call Maintenance? They Turned Off The AC

by Nick Summers | September 20, 2006 at 10:58 am
Can Someone Call Maintenance? They Turned Off The AC

If you go to an Ivy League school, you probably find intelligence attractive. Lectures, when delivered with the right mix of panache and brio (while using words like panache and brio), can be uncomfortably stimulating. Smart is hot. But it never hurts if the professor happens to be sporting her trademark leather lowriders or showing off his rugged, unshaven cheekbones. Because let’s face it: Hot is also hot.

We know, we know, you went into academia to get away from all this superficial crap. Well, we’ve got news: academics are some of the vainest (and, sometimes, veiniest) people around. If Cornel West spent as much time publishing papers as he did ironing his three-piece, he might still be at Harvard. Professors are born narcissists. For all you know, they’re paying us to announce … 

Faculty Studs & Tenured Temptresses of the Ivy League, an Ivy-wide beauty pageant dedicated to finding the two hottest tickets in the Ancient Eight. Requirements: The person must be 1) a professor currently teaching at an Ivy League school, 2) in possession of a doctorate (no adjuncts, no grad students), and 3) hot. (Hot-hot or distinguished-hot is your call. We hold out hope for the former, but hey, we love us our silver foxes.)

Send your nominations by 11:59 p.m. Sunday to ivygate@gmail.com, with pics if possible. Our panel of judges will select the most qualified candidates and open it up for readers to vote next week.

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7 Responses to “Can Someone Call Maintenance? They Turned Off The AC”

  1. anon Says:
    September 20th, 2006 at 1:30 pm

    it’s easier just to dump this here: I nominate janaki bakhle of columbia.

  2. many adjuncts Says:
    September 20th, 2006 at 1:46 pm

    actually have doctorates at ivy league institutions, so the requirements are contradictory.

  3. IvyGate Says:
    September 20th, 2006 at 5:11 pm

    Hi M.A. — The rules are flexible. We’re just looking for true profs.

  4. Anonymous Says:
    September 21st, 2006 at 10:14 am

    i nominate leland de la durante of harvard.

  5. FullBlossom Says:
    September 21st, 2006 at 5:22 pm

    I and others had a huge crush on Jean Jacques Poucel, of the French department at Yale…

  6. Anonymous Says:
    October 3rd, 2006 at 11:07 am

    I nominate Molly Murray of Columbia!

  7. allison Says:
    October 4th, 2006 at 3:12 pm

    I know it’s late, but I nominate Jeremy McInerney, of the Classics Dept at Penn. With that accent and sheer arrogance and the brilliance to justify the arrogance, a girl (and some guys) can’t help but be smitten. He can lecture to me about Herodotus any day. Clothing optional of course.

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