God damn it. Why does Cornell always have to ruin the party? We announce the Year of the College Blog, then they go and introduce this … this … Student Blogging Project.

Basically, the school pays students to write two entries a week about life at Cornell in exchange for $50 a month in gift certificates. Plenty of kids do this for free already (please click on our Google ads dear God just once please) for a readership of one. Getting published on Cornell’s website + ca$h money = good deal, right?

Read the fine print:

- “[B]ecause these blogs are highly visible, you will be expected to be intelligent about both the approach to and the crafting of your posts with regard to subject matter, language, and tone.” And if you’re short on ideas, just copy and paste student testimonials from the Cornell brochure. Blogging is good, clean fun!

- “[Y]our blogs will likely be visited by members of the Senior Administration at the university; all of whom are people not known for being shy when expressing their opinions. Rest assured that you will be spoken to if you stray across the line.” So, who’s gonna be the sacrificial blogger to cross the line and reveal its location for everyone else? Oh fine, we’ll do it: We Eiffel Towered President Skorton’s mom! In the gorge! You know where to find us, Skorton!

- Among the Project’s goals: “Share the Cornell story with the world.” Wait, you mean this Cornell story? Or the one about Eiffel Towering President Skorton’s mom in the gorge?

So the Project will be like a campus tour in blog form. Look forward to entries on chem problem sets, soda pong tournaments, and the occasional dessert wine. How authentic! For the future: if we ever sign up to be “student voices” for our authorized school blog, you, reader, have our permission to kill us.