Dartmouth (Alleged!) Sex-Tape Frenzy Losing Steam

by No Author | August 17, 2006 at 11:29 pm

For those of you chomping at the bit to see just what was in the homemade porn picture that got Dartmouth's Alta Delta brothers into a little trouble this June, you're straight out of luck: Local police suspended their investigation into the rumored 2003 sex tape a week ago, and say they don't have enough evidence to make an arrest. Where's CSI: Hanover when you need it?

Also, it sounds to us like The Dart doesn't know shit about shit. "As of now," Phil Salinger's Aug. 15 piece says, "a pocket of the Dartmouth community, which includes much of the AD membership, knows the names of the two individuals involved in the case." Which two?!? How you gonna cocktease us like that, Phil?

Regardless: Eh. Two extremely pale people having sex? Seen it.

And speaking of homemade porn that may or may not exist, the Dartmouth tape probably -- Jesus, what tense is this supposed to be in? -- couldn't match the cinematic gold allegedly created last winter by the caretaker of Elihu, the Yale secret society. Rumpus reports [PDF]:

Yale's secret societies all have caretakers, but Elihu's recently went above and beyond the call of duty. One of the society's members happened to be strolling through the tomb when he heard what sounded like a devoted employee in one of the "secret" rooms, from which the caretaker is technically barred. Looking in, the Elihu member chanced upon the caretaker selflessly caretaking -- which apparently entailed videotaping two homeless people having sex. That, folks, is how to get ahead in business. Or at least how to get a hobo to give another one a-head in business.

Classy, Elis, pret-ty classy.

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