Brown’s Dark Past Disappointingly Ordinary, Massacre-Free > Brown, Non-Ivy

Brown’s Dark Past Disappointingly Ordinary, Massacre-Free

by Chris Beam | August 23, 2006 at 3:29 pm

Brown's Dark Past Disappointingly Ordinary, Massacre-Free Haven't you heard? Brown University was actually number six in the U.S. News liberal arts rankings! It also charges $16,000 for tuition, has a firm grounding in the Protestant faith, and is located in Arkansas!

Oh shit. Sorry, that's John Brown University. We almost thought our friends in Providence had shattered a stereotype -- how disappointing.

What's really disappointing, though, is that JBU's namesake isn't even crazy-eyes-abolitionist-martyr-who- hacked-his-victims-to-death-with-a-broadsword John Brown. It's named after John E. Brown, a kind evangelist who taught needy children after WWI. Couldn't they just fudge it, though? It's a Christian school, after all, and Brown the Crazier did think he was the Avenging Angel of Death.

But hey, at least it's diverse, right? No? Better fix that, or J-Bro might have to chop up a bitch.

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