I Got 95 Theses and a Bitch Ain’t One

I Got 95 Theses and a Bitch Ain't One

There’s a little game we invented during a long road trip called “Things About.” The gist is that you name a person/place/thing/abstract principle/whatever, and then — hold on, it gets complicated — go around in a circle saying Things About it. Say you start with “Dumpsters.” The first person might note, “Some are green.” Another person could volunteer that they make good cushioning for window jumpers. “You capitalize the D, technically” is a superior entry. And so on and so on, until you seriously can’t think of a single thing to say about Dumpsters. A solid game lasts a minimum of two hours, easy. Idle, but hypercompetitive; gimlet-eyed, uselessly informed, plus that whole mindless-circle thing — it reeks of all of us.

IvyGate is kind of like one big game of “Things About … the Ivy League.” But unlike such exhaustible subjects as “pavement” (“It’s hard”) and “the Atlantic Ocean,” we strongly believe that there is an infinite number of things to say about the Ancient Eight. Few institutions are the object of more obsession and derision, mockery and respect, than this little group of schools. For whatever reason (call it entitlement — plus the siren song of Google AdSense), we think we have something to say about these schools and the people inside them.

For now, that’s all we’re going to tell you. But if you really care, or just want to tell us how much you don’t, email us at ivygate@gmail.com.

4 Responses to “I Got 95 Theses and a Bitch Ain’t One”

  1. Sam Jackson Says:

    If the allure of high CTR high eCPM early retirement is so strong, you could do better than your current placement…

  2. Sam Jackson Says:

    If the allure of high CTR high eCPM early retirement is so strong, you could do better than your current placement…

  3. whoa, bro! Says:

    Sam Jackson…YOU’RE STILL IN HIGH-SCHOOL!! Chill dude!

  4. whoa, bro! Says:

    Sam Jackson…YOU’RE STILL IN HIGH-SCHOOL!! Chill dude!