Columbia student activists just delivered a mattress to their president

Yesterday morning, Columbia activists payed back President Bollinger for the $471 fine incurred during October 29th’s National Carry That Weight Day of Action, albeit in less-than-depositable format. Several students, among them members of No Red Tape, carried a giant mattress to the president’s office emblazoned with a “check” for 471 dollars including the memo “Stop punishing survivors and activists. Be the leader on our side!” The mattress-check snarkily alluded to the dozens of mattresses that were placed in front of Bollinger’s house after the October 29th Carry That Weight rally, for which the group was fined for supposed clean-up fees – and, of course, to Columbia’s ur-mattress, Emma Sulkowicz’s senior thesis art-protest project Carry That Weight.

In response to the perceived insult, several students carried the mattress to Bollinger’s office in the campus’ main administrative building (and how they got a mattress into Low, we’ll never know) and read out loud a letter condemning his lack of response to survivor’s protests over the past semester.

Read the full letter below, which narrates the story better than we could. Columbia’s official responses to other blogs’ requests for comment spouted some unremarkable and empty admin speak, which isn’t even worth copying here. (However, they claimed to have waived the $471 fee. That’s nice, we guess.)

The letter calling Bollinger reprehensible, below.

Harvard Business School Professor Really Needs His $4.00 Back

One of the pleasures of being a practicing lawyer is the ability to take an informed stand against the daily injustices of life. Imagine the assured self-sufficiency that Ben Edelman, a Harvard Business school professor and licensed J.D., must have felt when he threatened his local Chinese restaurant with legal action himself over the money they overcharged him one December night - which came out to $4.00. Four dollars. Four.

Not even four dollars per item, just four dollars.

PRINCETON: Tiger Inn VP and Treasurer Fired After Photo and Email Scandals

It’s been a rough year for Tiger Inn, a Princeton eating club famous for perpetually contradicting the adage that “any press is good press.” In an article published Monday, The New York Times exposed two email leaks that led the club’s Vice President and Treasurer to be requested to leave the board. Less than an hour later, the Daily Princetonian published its own account of the incidents, both of which feature Tiger Inn board members living up to the club’s sexist reputation.

Both articles pulled no punches in describing the sequence of events that forced Tiger Inn into a change of its leadership. According to the Times article, former Vice President Adam Krop forwarded an image of two people “engaged in a sex act” on the public dance floor of a T.I. party to the Tiger Inn listserv; the email included a crude joke as well as the precise identification of the woman as an “asian chick”. The Daily Princetonian, in an attempt offer a more intimate campus perspective on the matter, further clarified that the photo in question was of “a [female] freshman student performing oral sex on a [male] senior student;” the paper also classified the incident as an act of sexual assault, citing Princeton’s daily crime log.

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Write For Us

Have you ever dreamed of writing puns all day long? Or, rather, of using your investigative and reporting skills to dig into the lives and times of the Ivy League? Then your time has come: we want you to join our illustrious ranks of nosy invasive snarky intellectually curious writers and editors.

We’re looking for smart, engaged new writers to help us bring eternal glory to their classmates, professors, and schools. There’s no need for an extensive journalism background, and please don’t send us any cover letters. (Although we would have fun with them.) We just want a brief explanation of why you’re interested in writing for us, and what types of stories you see yourself contributing to IvyGate. There’s a whole range of possible levels of commitment – from writing the occasional post to joining on as a more involved editor – so don’t hesitate to reach out even if you have a packed schedule this semester. And it’s not necessary to be an Ivy student to write for us, as long as you’re still willing to get down and dirty with these eight schools. We’re a pretty fun group, we promise.

If you’re interested in any combination of writing, editing, or hunting for stories, shoot an email to ivygate@gmail.com. And, as always, if you have a tip for a story, send it to us at tips@ivygateblog.com.

Happy Thanksgiving, and keep your eyes and ears open. We’ll wait for your call.

 

Yale “burns” Harvard in a pre-Game video challenge

Perhaps the highlight of college sporting events, the annual Harvard/Yale football game takes place this Saturday at Harvard Stadium in Boston. As the front pages of both school papers’ opinion columns announce, tensions are already rising in the form of snappy op-eds. (Have you heard, for instance, that Harvard killed the dinosaurs?)

For the past few years, Harvard comedy group “On Harvard Time” has released burn videos mocking the school’s arch-rival and seeding fear into the hearts of Yalies right before the great game. They’re usually pretty funny. This year, though, Yale has decided to retaliate with a viral challenge of its own, in a video that proves that while Yale students may boast the more adorable mascot, they really needs to work on their snark level – not to mention voiceover skills.

In the newly released “Harvard: Put Up or Shut Up,” an independently directed production, the Yale College Council throws down the gauntlet and shames Harvard students once and for all for their inferiorities, including:

They could not come up with that much.

BROWN: Campus Goose is your Mom away from Mom

Like this, but for forever.

College is celebrated as a place where, for the first time in your life, you don’t need your parents in order to survive on a daily basis. Small freedoms such as feeding yourself, doing your own laundry, and generally taking care of the life tasks required in order to be a human being become valuable stepping stones on the long road to quasi-adulthood. But if you’re at Brown University, you can stay on the warm-up bench of life for an extra couple of years, thanks to Campus Goose.

Campus Goose, the “one-of-a-kind concierge service” started last year and targeted towards Brown students, dedicates itself to services ranging from the “practical” – like rides to doctor’s appointments – to the “whimsical,” like delivering morning muffins, offering wake-up calls, or “discreetly checking in” on one’s wayward student who hasn’t Skyped home in the past 48 hours. (We’re imagining a mom in a bush with binoculars, twigs in her hair and peering into the Beta house on mixer night.) Think of it as your own local helicopter mom, only on really aggressive steroids.

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Guilty of Title IX Violation, Princeton Will Reexamine 11 Sexual Misconduct Cases

The Department of Education’s Office for Civil Rights announced on November 5th that Princeton has been found guilty of a Title IX violation, prompting the university to review all of its sexual assault cases from the past three years. The OCR’s verdict stated that Princeton had not “promptly and equitably responded” to complaints of sexual violence, including harassment and assault. Along with the guilty verdict, the OCR announced a resolution for an agreement with Princeton to ensure further compliance with Title IX. Princeton’s policies and procedures in place to respond to cases of sexual assault at the time of the investigation were also not compliant with Title IX’s requirements. Much like Columbia’s Title IX complaint filed in April, OCR’s investigation was a response to complaints filed on behalf of students.

Princeton was prepared for the verdict.

The Dartmouth upholds standards of journalism: confuses bananas for dildos

Since 1799, The Dartmouth has prided itself on a long and illustrious history of professional student journalism and a commitment to ethical, objective reporting. In keeping with these standards, the newspaper published a correction to its October 17th front-page article that called for an end to the Greek system at the college. While it’s reassuring to know that the paper is upfront about its editorial errors, it’s less reassuring to hear that someone mixed up a potassium-rich fruit with a pretty high-tech sex toy:

Our only question: ejaculating dildo?

(h/t @romenesko)

 

UPDATE: We Found Another Anonymous Message About Jonathan Dach

After yesterday‘s post on the most damning piece of verse this decade, Christina (last name withheld for privacy), the former Rumpus editor Jonathan Dach was originally in contact with, forwarded me an anonymous message from April of last year:

 

———- Forwarded message ———-
From: Veritas <redacted>
Date: Monday, April 22, 2013
Subject: From Website Contact Form: Jonny dach book and snake
To: editors@yalerumpus.com


From: Veritas <redacted>
Subject: Jonny dach book and snake

Message Body:
Read carefully…jonny dach was the White House staffer who had a prostitute in his room during the “secret service ” scandal last year.  He told me this himself…my friend even called the Hilton in Cartagena and confirmed he was checked in there.   His daddy Leslie dach, google him, has massive influence and had WH cover it up in return for favors.   Jonny bragged about this to me!


This mail is sent via contact form on Rumpus http://www.yalerumpus.com

 

She never forwarded it to me last year and considering most of the messages that come in through that contact form are Russian spam or marketing bots, I didn‘t see or notice it during the transition period at the end of that spring semester. Christina herself had forgotten about it until she went searching for her original email exchange with Dach and found this instead. 

Leslie Dach, Jonny Dach’s father, does indeed have massive influence“–he is the former Executive Vice President of Corporate Affairs & Government Relations for Wal-Mart (oy), prominent Democratic donor, and a current senior counselor for the Department of Health and Human Services. 

I emailed the Gmail account attached to Veritas but received a domain error (again, if you are the author of this message, please email tips@ivygateblog.com). The date of this message is about two weeks before the other comments timestamp–perhaps Dach got a little too drunk during an end-of-the-year Yale Law School celebration and bragged” about it to our now-famous poet?

Somebody Tipped Me Off About Jonathan Dach a Year Ago With this Weird-Ass Poem

The Washington Post has just published a lengthy report regarding allegations that the White House covered up a volunteer’s role in the 2010 Colombia prostitution scandal. The Post has identified that volunteer as Jonathan Dach, a recent graduate of Yale Law School and Yale College. Dach allegedly brought a prostitute back to his room in Cartagena, and though the White House denied that any of their team members were involved in the scandal two years ago, hotel records examined by the Post reveal that Dach did sign in a female overnight guest (prostitution is legal in certain parts of Colombia‪; the hotel requires ID to make sure they are not underage).

This came as no surprise to me because this entire story had been told in an anonymous comment on a Yale Rumpus article over a year ago. Full disclosure: I have been on the Rumpus staff since my freshman year and served as its Editor-in-Chief during the 2013-2014 school year. During the transitionary period at the end of the Spring 2013 semester, I was fucking around on the website’s WordPress account, looking through old posts and comments, and discovered the following.

Posted by “Sarah“ from a Hushmail account on May 5th, 2013 on the 2012 Secret Society Issue, the annual roster release of Yale’s secret societies:

 

Found 100 copies of this poem at a printnow…Who/what is this?

 

 

Little Jonny Dach
With his little Jonny cock
Has a secret he wants no one to know…

 

He once took a trip
Attached to Obama’s hip
Off to Colombia he did go…

 

The plane barely touched down
when out on the town
Little Jonny decided to play…
A young Colombian girlie
Had his tongue wagging thoroughly
He dug into his pocket and paid…

 

Off to the room
With no sign of doom
Little Jonny, well, he lasted seconds…
With a giggle she left,
And he, feeling bereft,
Washed his crotch since his day it still beckoned..

 

Then a media bomb
And it didn’t take long
for the White House to turn out a tale…
“An error!” they claimed
“A number glitch!” they did blame
There is no one but agents to assail!

 

Once again Daddy’s power
Saved little Jonny in a dark hour
But the Service will soon grab your ear…

 

You see, Skull and Bones, Book and ‘Snakes’,
You children play at the game of intell.
There is a lesson you will learn
When true heroes are burned
Their enemies are marched into hell…

 

So listen up Yale and Harvard and such
Your shit it doth stinketh the same
When the day is long over
And Daddy Leslie is covered in clover
They will wish they never played this game.

 

I promptly googled Dach and, at the time, the only other relevant mention of him online was this New Yorker article about volunteer drivers for the presidential motorcade. I thought about placing a call to the Hilton Cartagena Hotel, realized that I didn’t know how to place an international call that wouldn’t result in massive overcharge on my phone bill, and promptly forgot about it in the rush of finals.

I hadn’t thought about it until January of this year, when Dach reached out to Rumpus to ask that the comment be removed. He had been forwarded to me by the prior Editor-in-Chief (Christina, in this thread). An excerpt of the email exchange is below:

 

Subject: Rumpus post
Andrea Villena <andrea.villena@yale.edu> Fri, Jan 17, 2014 at 4:02 PM
To: Jonathan Dach <redacted>
Jonny,

Christina forwarded your message to me. I haven’t received any emails from you in my inbox or spam folder (did you spell my name correctly?) but I’ve gone ahead and blocked the comment from the site. I don’t enjoy removing things from the Rumpus website and I’m not sure why Master Laurans contacted you so recently considering that comment has been up for probably months. I’m rather busy at the moment so I’ve just gone ahead and resolved your complaint.

Best,
Andrea

 

Jonathan Dach <redacted> Fri, Jan 17, 2014 at 5:13 PM
To: Andrea Villena <andrea.villena@yale.edu>

Andrea, thanks very much for removing the two identical comments–and sorry to have had to ask. I was editor of The New Journal and would have been similarly unenthusiastic about taking something off out [sic] website. I hope it was okay in this instance since it was a user’s comment and unrelated to any Rumpus content. And I really do appreciate it.

Not sure how the two e-mails went awry but also grateful you deleted the posts so quickly once Christina put us in touch.

Hope the semester is off to a good start!

 

 

It should be noted that in his original message to the prior EIC, he never denounces the poem as false—he calls it “strange and vituperative,“ but not false. I did feel bad for him, as the comment showed up as the second search result on “Jonny Dach.“ But I didn’t delete entirely‪; I hid it from view and the comment remained on the back end of the website, as part of the WordPress comment tracker.

The poem isn’t particularly impressive in its rhyme scheme but it does get eerie around the seventh stanza (I checked the Rumpus archives, and the 2008 society issue lists Dach as a member of Book and Snake). It’s a weird call to arms against privileged assholes, perhaps written by a surly Secret Service agent who’s mad this kid got away with it (if you are the author or know who it is, please email tips@ivygateblog.com). It’s unclear whom those 100 copies were meant for or where they ended up but perhaps this post will give that author the recognition they were so desperately craving. Ultimately, I believe the blame lies with the White House for covering it up, not Dach—go ahead and hire a prostitute if it’s legal. It’s dumb but, as a non-essential team member, not the biggest threat to national security.

Dach now works as a full-time policy adviser in the Office on Global Women’s Issues for the U.S. State Department.